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Movie Source: Internet Archive (archive.org)
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Should Sailors Marry?

1925

Should Sailors Marry? is a 1925 American silent comedy film featuring Clyde cook and Oliver Hardy.

Plot
A wife waits for her brawling sailor ex-husband (Noah Young). His friends sneer at him for ever being married. She has come to get back alimony.

Cyril (Clyde Cook) is returning home after 4 years on a submarine. He is on a train going to visit Verbena Singlefoot, a sturdy widow with whom he has been corresponding. She owns her building a takes in boarders. She won a beauty prize in the Chicago World Fair of 1893 (22 years previously).

He puts on his overcoat to get off the train but two men are trying to put on the same coat. He opens the carriage window and sees Verbena outside, he leans out to hug her then passes his bags out of the window and exits there instead of the door. They marry and head home. The ex-husband loiters at the entrance.

He is introduced to her son - a bratty young teenager dressed as a cowboy - who demands that Cyril dances the "bagpipe" (meaning hornpipe). He fires his guns at Cyril's feet to make him dance. When the boy seems to lose interest and wanders off he goes to check and gets his cap shot off.

He is then introduced to his new daughter, Smyrna, a precocious girl of around 16. Smyrna gives him a sexy wink. Sitting on hot curling tongs sets Cyril into another hornpipe. The ex-husband appears and gets kicked on the chin in Cyril's enthusiastic dance. Smyrna asks "did he hurt you Daddy?" and Cyril asks Verbena for an explanation.

On their wedding night he puts on his nightgown and nightcap. He hides in the bed and does not realise that it is the ex-husband getting in, not Verbena. They fight over the covers before Cyril spots his mistake. Verbena comes in and checks his pockets for money. She cries when he says he has none. The ex-husband tells him he will have to work to pay him his alimony. He dreams of wrestling him then they actually wrestle.. The ex his twice his size but he nimbly escapes his grabs and blows.

The doctor (Oliver Hardy) arrives with an assistant to check him for life insurance, interrupting his first day's work: sharpening tools. They check his heart and blood pressure. The doctor does not pay attention and over-inflates the blood pressure band, bursting it. He is pronounced "perfect" but the doctor wants to operate "just for the experience". They try to strip him and he resists. The doctor agrees a $25000 policy payable to Verbena. Calamities instantly begin on a steel construction of a skyscraper many floors up. He escapes into a passing hot air balloon advertising Reno Soap. He cuts the tether to escape. He throws out a sand bag and hits the ex, dropping him off the steelwork.

Cyril indicates he is going to Reno.

Cast
Clyde Cook as Cyril D'Armond
Noah Young as The ex-husband
Fay Holderness as Verbena Singlefoot (the new wife)
Martha Sleeper as Smyrna
Oliver Hardy as Doctor
Sammy Brooks as Doctor's short assistant
William Gillespie as Train passenger
Helen Gilmore as Train passenger

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